I don't even know how people find out about my blog but apparently I have seven followers. HIGH SCORE! Anyway I think since I am happy about getting seven followers and I am just happy today I thought I should talk about weird things to scare my followers away!
So 40 things that make me abnormally weird... this list long and ridiculous and will serve as a guide to whether or not people should read this blog. And as the introduction I never did. Since fame is on the horizon.
- I'm a vegetarian. And I am also not fucking scared of him. However she does not want to touch me Wa oh or love me wa oh
-I have irrational fears of dolls, grasshopper, geese, and guys who choose to wear crocs, overalls, and saggy pants
- I have like seven shirts that I wear and no other ones. MALL TRIP DIS WEEKEND. One of those shirts is a Charlie the Unicorn shirt that without fail makes everyone immediately love me for five seconds. They say everythime "OH MAH GAWD THAT SHIRT IS AWESOME".
- I facebook stalk all of the people who friend request me who I don't know, and will even talk to them on occasion.
- I was born deformed nipples. I also am murdering a beerless belly right now through...
- Exercise TV videos involving dancing. Especially those with Bollywood in them. Dance club are pretty Badass though
- I was kissraped as a Kindergartner by this girl who liked Ketchup on her Pizza.
-My second "barely" (as in a peck) kiss was with my cousin
- My third "barely" ( as in a peck) kiss was with a guy, also kissraped
- I have several characters that I let enter everyday conversation. "I made a pony... and now it's a unicorn" and "I'M ON AN EFFING WALRUS!"
- I give a voice to my dog so I can converserse with him "Uh, Mr. Robert? Are you sure those are your pants because a lot like Mr. Gerald's pants"
- People tell me I smell good when I sweat
- People like to sit next to me and smell me when I sweat.
- I have a monobrow. Which I can roll like the ocean.
- I hate potatoes
-The smell of bananas kind of turns me on. This just got so awkward. Let's continue in this manner. If I still have seven followers the world has gone insane.
-I have on occasion kissed my reflection for practice.
-I have dreams that I am also a person named Kyle Hawthorne, a nudist who attends public school, does drugs, and plays the legs of a crippled girl in a revival of Pushing Daisies.Oh and he and Kristin Chenowith date sometimes.
-Occasionally I pretend that I am a ghetto latin girl when talking to telemarketers "I gonna take you back to Mexico and kill yo ass!"
-Same as the last but an Indian man "Oh me gawd. You are selling Male Enhancement, may I buy some for my young son
- I love Final Fantasy. That's weird enough.
- I still love NSYNC. OMG Bye, bye, bye OMG
-I can say the alphabet backwards faster than forwards
- I memorized all of the Weird Al Song "Trapped in the drive through"
-I punched a guy in the face. Not because he was ginger, but because he had no soul.
- I talk to myself more than I talk to other people
-My music collection is weird honesly who listens to songs like "Show Me Your Genitals" and "*censored tomorrow's blog censored*
- I know most of the Single Ladies dance
- Same as above, but Bad Romance and the majority of it
-I never wear matching socks
-I love making my own meanings for peoples random "efcedeswhs" stuff "Every fat child eats donuts every Saturday while having sex" or "sghyvcnrt" is "South Georgia's hot young voluptuous children need rape tazers"
-I shave awkward hair places. like my enormous... legs
-I can legitimately say that I have no shame
- I can sing both soprano parts and tenor parts
-I love talking to strangers (you think?)
-I hate styrofoam, Walmart and anyone who dislikes anyone for anything about them based on prejudice
-I don't actually care about religion at all, which a lot of people dislike about me. Why worry about religion?
-I have never had a romantic kiss, or been in a real relationship, but have still had enormous romantic disappointments
- Llamas
- I actually think people care about this stuff about me.
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I am sad to inform you that the only reason you had seven followers was because I am a n00b to blogger and accidentally followed you in two different ways. It didn't take long to fix.
ReplyDelete~Ava (yes, from school)
Robert... You're not the only one. I have "Show Me Your Genitals" on my ipod....
ReplyDelete