Steroids of the grades, STPO, and the French girl

This whole not having a social life is totally awesome for my grades. Seriously having all A's is a good incentive of this no friend life. It's like the muscle building in steroids. The loneliness is like the anger problems and low sperm count.

Okay other than my kick ass progress report scores I have a few things to talk about. First of all I missed the spelling error of the century. At the local Publix the road painters accidently wrote "STPO" Instead of "STOP". I was at the Publix when it was there but I missed seeing it. People took several pictures of the idiotic mistake. They fixed it quickly. Personally I would have left it to attract shoppers. People in my lunch period had pictures though.

In my US History class we had an evil sub who yelled at us and made us write the questions on three section reviews we hadn't studied.

In my last period we began with the fire drill. Basically they tell everybody to get out of the building. Originally I was just going to walk home, then I remembered college.

There was a french girl who came to visit. She talked to us about things my other French teacher had taught us. We also learned about drugs and alcohol in France. She left close to the end of class. Our teacher recorded grades. Someone looked at the grades. A real asshole who was failing. He looked at the paper and said "Who is Robert Naylor?" "Me." I said. "You have a hundred in this class! I hate you!"

"Oh it's not by choice, it's a byproduct of not having a social life."

"You little punk!"He said jokingly, I think.

The bell rang.

Yes, not much to blog about happened to day. The STPO thing was good but... oh well. Even if nobody reads it I'll be back tomorrow with hopefully interesting stuff.
Thanks for reading!
Robert

Haiku Day

I thought I would spice up my blog with publicity. It's haiku day!

Mourning
Woke up at seven
Went to Mallard restaurant
Had Veggie Omelet

Firefly
Returned to my house
Watched two Firefly episodes
Helped mom with some chores

Trivia
Went to a campground
Food at Buffalo Wild Wings
Lost at trivia

Laundry
Washer and dryer
My stepdad fixed the problem
Hell Yes! Clean clothing

Meals
Planned some meals for me
Vegetarianism
Independent Meals

Shopping
Went to Publix store
Found most all ingredients
Could not find the dates

Joke
Called up my mother
"Where should I look for some dates"
"What is your interest?"

Dinner
Had no real dinner
Ate Popsicles and Popcorn
Big Brother. Go Michelle!

Buffy
Buffy, Vampire Slayer
Willow cheated on good Oz
Naughty Lesbian!

Blog
Talked to an old friend
Vented about no friends life
Made this Haiku blog.


I hope you enjoyed this weird entry. I'll see you tomorrow with a hopefully entertaining entry!

Laundry

Hello me and the couple of friends who read my blog! I just had the best food ever. My stepdad came from Germantown with a large load of furniture (whihc is a key plot element of this blog), so I wanted to make a nice meal to show appreciation. However, I never expected to find such culinary genius! It was Ziti with Caremlized Onions, Portobello Mushrooms, and Goat cheese. The taste was indescribable. While i could write an entire blog entry about this food I think I will focus on laundry today.


So I have lived for the past few weeks with no washer and dryer. So I was forced to take my clothes to a laundromat. Many of you will not have had the pleasure to experience this. So here we go: Two accounts of two different laundromats.
Laundromat 1
Things start off well. I put the clothes in the washers, pay up for the service. I see a snack machine, use some of my mom's money to buy Skittles. So The clothes wash correctly and i move them to the dryers. I insert coins and... they don't start. A woman with less teeth than a Dolly Parton concert audience comes up to me and speaks

"Y'all gots the Shee-it Drar dintcha! Ya gots ter holdstha sturt button dern fer a whall."

I follow her instructions. They aren't completely dry after one wash. To be expected. Third time. Okay. Forth Time... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ARE YOU A DRYER OR NOT!!!

"Whall. I dun nev'r seen nobody ser pee-issed at a Drar. I woutn't rekmend yer ke-yun ter theese bee-itch ova laundramat ever gen!"

I follow her advice after this visit but if the clothes don't get dry I am going to resort to prostitution! Attempt five- a success.

Account 2
This laundromat is better on the inside but on the outside I see a gathering of potsmoking Hispanics. Now I'm not going to be racist and assume drug dealers but there are white people coming up to chat with them and they only speak Spanish. And not all of these men can be looking for cheap yet efficient construction workers. I witness six pot deals while I do my laundry. And while that is sort of entertaining it is not very comforting to be alone with the big bad mafia members.


So I have learned that laundry is not something to take for granted. After about six Laundromat visits the washer and dryer finally come!. We hooked up the washer. No issues! We attempt to hook up the dryer... the plug in is not the correct type. I have to stand the Mexican mafia one more time before I can finally feel secure.

Intense Excuses

Hello! It's time for the Excuse edition of Forever Roqn!

As you can see I am trying to express more enthusiasm in my blog. Yesterday's was very ranty, but I do best humor wise when I rant, so I don't know. I can assure you that this blog will be a little more light hearted.

I have A bit of an issue, with my new school obsession with spirit comes the discussion of football games and required attendance. Today I used up my "I felt sick, but I wish I could have been there" excuse. So I need plenty more to last me through the rest of high school. So I thought I would make a blog of it.

So here it is

TWENTY FOOLPROOF EXCUSES
1. I have this ridiculous project that I blew off till the last minute
2. I'm grounded.
3. My hamster unfortunately died and I can't stand cheering when something so close to my heart has departed. I... (Begin Bawling)
4. My washer and dryer aren't working and I don't have any clean pairs of pants that I can wear. The ones I'm currently wearing are a little too tight around the lower regions. You know?
5. I have unfortunately forgotten how to clap and you know how embarrassing it is to not be able to clap at a place of such excitement.
6. My watch broke and there are no clocks in my house So I won't know what time it is much less what day it is ( all credit to BTVS)
7. I have a hot date and you know we don't want all our SUPER SEXY MAKEY OUTEY time to distract the players and cause a loss. We are going to go to my house.
8. My housekeeper is being deported and she has my socks, I need to get them before she goes back to Mexico.
9. My mother's cancer operation will cost a lot of money so I have to sell marijuana and sexual favors to pay so she can live.
10. OH GOD! I FEEL SOME DIARRHEA COMING ON!!! GOT TO GOOOO!!!!!
11. Oh I want to go but the fates have informed me that I will not want to go come the time.
12. My sister is in labor. We have squeeze the booger out I'll see if I can swing by.
13. Wait, I thought that was... Oh I scheduled my doctors appointment for tonight...
14. Well it's kind of embarrassing but I am medically required to get a butt wax tonight. It is infringing on my ability to make bow- (Usually they will ask you to stop)
15. Sorry, I can't pay for a ticket. I spent my money on food because my family will starve without it.
16. In Writing "I am taking a vow of silence to save Africans from AIDS, I would be tempted to break my vow out of excitement"
17. Football- A sport invented in America the American pastime. Dallas Cowboys Famous for cheerleaders. Cheerleading is a sport according to (Continue in bing fashion).
18. Oh Damn I would go but Mom says I have to pray for 7 hours until my Hot Topic shopping is healed by Jesus our Lord and Savior
19. One of the cheerleaders has a restraining order because I called her a Ho.
20. My Russian mail order bride arrives tonight. Soon we will be wed at last!

Okay so maybe not all of those would work but it's a start. If you have any other ideas leave a comment.
Thanks,
Robert

Pep Rally Rant

Hello! I'm Robert Naylor and I am currently fairly pissed off.


You see, I just moved to a new town in the middle of my high school career, and while being a friendless 16 year old is cause enough to be pissed off today I was forced to go to the schools pep rally.


Now some people may not consider this a problem but it is a huge problem. Mandatory Pep Rallies suck more than normal pep rallies. Now I enjoy screaming about football as much as the next person who... has absolutely no interest in sports, but please forcing everyone to come to their little cult meetings?


First an insider account of the pep rally. AAAAAH GOOO HHS! BLAAAAAAARGGGGGGH! they scream excitedly about the begining of the Pep Rally. First the Cheerleaders come out in their mini skirts that would warrant stoning in Afghanistan and begin to teach us how to spell "Commando" Slowly with exuberant pumping of the fist. This proves me wrong. Pep Rallies do have educational value, I feel an intellectual thrill as they spell out words using their barely covered bodies. We watch each and every one of the 21 cherleaders flip across the floor. Then we watch every football player walk across the floor. Next it's the golden girls who bounce their breast around to a beat while grabbing their butts. They are the male dogs in heat and the air is the large stuffed animal. The air is raped by the large chested females. How artistic. More cheering. We turn around and yell some more. At least most of us do some of us sit on the back row. I envy them but being of no friends I am unable to do such things. I am stuck in the very front being tossed around by football players and spirit nazis. The Alma Matter is sung. I finally know the true purpose of the mandatory attendence when the principle walks up.

"We have the most spirited students in the county!!!!!"

That's right she drags every student in the school into the pep rally so she can have her delusional bragging rights.

So here is my issue with the mandatory pep rallies. Besides the delusional basis for their existence, no one likes having them mandatory. The spirited ones don't want "The Bad Kids" to come because it makes them lose their screaming contests. The people who have better things to do like get an education, don't want to be dragged into their, and my idea of hell. Secondly, the purpose of school is to get an education however the school I currently attend blows all it's money on football and pep rallies and prom. However, our teachers have no money to spend. Compared to my old school it's like going back in time as far as technology goes. Also, does the principle force the entire school to attend things devoted to the arts program? No. They barely require class attendance. If you are caught in the hallway you are just asked to return to class.
Sorry to use the internet as a bitch box but I just feel the need to say this. My life has been made miserable and I have no one to talk to about it. I plan to blog most everyday. So if you found this blog I thank you for reading it.
Thanks,
Robert