Theatre

Want to know what the kids are doing these days? Marijaunas too mainstream, Heroine's too dangerous and cocaine is so strip of Lindsay Lohan's vomit covered thong. No the kids are going back to the basics. The alchehals and the cancer sticks and worst of all them Theatres.

Most people think theatre is a harmless hobby but friends we are facing some serious problems here. The combination of extreme time consumption, an exhausting sacrifice of health, and a complete absorption into the life of a nonexistant human in combination with the showtunes and the prolonged exposure to the homosexual has created quite a potent drug.

Side effects include:
Vomiting
bad cases of Diarhea
Exhaustion
Hunger
intense desire to have sexual intercourse with men
songs being stuck in head
sweatyness
excessive showering
Laundry doing
and weight loss.


Why do the kids do it? Fame. Or at least the delusion of it. Acting is one of the only activities where you are directly thanked by your audience for your skills and it is almost worth the sacrifice.

And cast parties. I sort of plan on having all sorts of debauchery on cast party night.

I am an improved human being... and so can you

My last blog was kind of awfully depressing, so I want to make this blog awefull (meaning full of awesome of course *ha ha ha* crappy joke crappy joke)
I have recently become obsessed with investigative journalism and the parking lot list really kind of sealed the obsession. I want to write a really weird blog that investigate things people barely care about but make it very interesting. So yeah if I have another "this is what I am going to do" blog I will feel like a jerk so I am going to talk about something political... thugs and criminals.
Sorry I just think everyone needs to see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU7fhIO7DG0


Know why? Thugs and criminals. Lawl. Some night this week I will have a real blog. promise or stick a European curly haired platinum blonde canine in my optical receptor.

Depressing blog

I'm sick of watching every single thing I do become a futile attempt to reach some goal that was never reachable in the first place. I'm sick of having floors ripped out from under me and feeling the expectations of my reputation forcing me to find a place to stand in the air. But most of all, I'm sick of being ignored, of having people talk down to me, and treating me like some sort of ball of ignorance that they have to conceal their true feelings from. Of every euphemism and subtle hinting, of gestures and looks that people think I'm blind to.

I'm not a perfect person. I talk too much, I'm occasionally so pompous that I want to punch myself in the face, I'm not very attractive, I have an intense guilt complex, I procrastinate, and I have a tendency to lie to myself and others to avoid a conflict. But I don't hate people for no reason and if I did I would at least have the decency to tell them. And I most definitely don't do anything bad enough to deserve half of the stuff that I am forced to deal with.

I'm not claiming that my life is harder than anyone else's, far from it, but it does happen to on occasion suck beyond the telling of it. People seem to always have advice for me, and I am sick of hearing people tell me “There will be worse times” or implying that I don't know how the difficulties of life. I know what it feels like to be manipulated, to have my name slandered, to watch something I have put all of my time and effort into crumble before my eyes, to be forced to beg for the death of one of the things I loved the most, to be seen as too weird to communicate with, to be needed too much, to be hated, to be hated by a large group of people, to live through a time where every loud noise sounds like a gunshot and the death of someone I care about, to be discriminated against, to be betrayed, to be poor enough to get excited about going to a fast food restaurant, to have plentiful amounts of money but nothing to buy that has even the slightest potential to satisfy me for even a moment, to have things abruptly change, and to have every constant torn from my life. And most of all I know what it feels like to be a human fucking being and to have problems and to deal with them to the best of my ability.

Right now, I'm facing several enormous problems. The only course of action is as it's always been deal with what you can, let the rest sort it self out. But there isn't much I can deal with. And everything that will “sort itself out” will be sorted into a long road of pain that I will have to smile through because that is the only thing I know how to do. They say that pain is a learning experience, that there is a lesson to be found in suffering. But how many loves do I have to watch shatter to learn that love is meant to shatter? How many of my hopes have to be crushed for me to learn that hope is closest I will ever come to my desired result?

Bitch of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMvZQsSRgG4

That's right Tim James is the official bitch of the day, because honestly whattaskank. just watch this video. Or if not you can read my translation

I am selfish and pointlessly patriotic. Look at how much of a dick I can be toward people who are not exactly like me. Elect me as governor. Then again, it is Alabama.

School parking lot list of items.

I thought it would be interesting to catalog the litter in Hendersonville High and Kid's Kindgdom parking lot parking lot today.
2 Boxes of cigarettes (Naughty people!)
7 used condoms (6 yellow, 1 blue)
5 condom wrappers (I guess the other people ate the wrappers, because seriously if you are going to throw a bag full of your man juice onto the ground you should not feel the moral obligation to throw the wrapper in the proper trash receptical)
3 styrofoam cups (all large steak and shake cups)
10 paper cups (most of them crushed beyond recognition, but I did recognize a starbucks and a burger king)
17 pens (mostly cheap ones with chewed caps)
8 pencils ( 2 were not broken)
5 ripped paper bags (This is an assumption of the total of all the ripped shreds)
9 plastic bags (same as above)
5 plastic baggies (1 of them had some really unusual liquid in it which despite the fact that any liquid in a plastic bag is gross makes me believe that
1 ugly brown mitten (I guess dem kittens were flippin they're shittens when they realized they left their mittens in the parking lot)
1 pair of gym shorts (poor freshman, probably got raped)
23 snack wrappers (12 candy, rest chips or similar)
32 gum wrappers
1 diaper in the High school lot(I guess Mrs. Whorsham couldn't wait till she got inside. Seriously the feck?)
30 plastic bottles (lots of drinkers)
8 cans (only 4 were beer)
3 of what I am pretty sure was a bit of a joint
$7.84 in change
2 movie ticket stubs (1 for "How to Train Your Dragon", the other "Kick Ass)
1 scarf black
1 piece of thread
1 my little pony (it has rainbow curls)
3 articles of Barbie clothing (all skanky)
A pair of boxers
1 Panties (these two were close together. Hmmmmmm)
more duckcrap than worth mentioning
5 children having tantrums (3 girls, 1 boy, 1 of whatever the fuck it was probably some sort of minilesbian)
4 cars with teen girls staring at me unusually (They had the look of superiority and the sounds of Ke$ha)
4 tennis balls
A fishing lure
a single key (Probably for a small locker)
and a toilet brush

You will be happy to know that much of this trash has been throw away. except you know things where people's genatalia has been in contact with. I am going to begin this exercise every month because I feel that I have learned a lot about the town of Hendersonville. A bunch of chainsmoking people have sex while gnawing on condom wrappers, then they throw toys and fast food about while smoking joints then they clean a toilet.

Another attempt to blog

I need to get back into a routine of blogging. But I am not sure how I want to proceed with this blog. So I am just going to blog about... tuxedos.
I just put in my order for my prom tux. It's a black jacket, white shirt, and green vest/tie combo. Having a date to prom has proved to be a dilemma. First of all I felt involved in some drama that I did not need. Secondly I can't choose a classy and stylish tuxedo . Next year I am going to go all out and wear a crazy awesome tux and force someone to color coordinate with me. Of coarse then I have to go find some freaking dead flower to strap to her arm or whatever the hell you do with it.

One honest question, what is the purpose of a tie? It is just there so that it can be tugged upon erotically as the man unzips his pants for dance floor sex. You know the standing dance sex that all the kids are doing. It's much more popular than slide sex, but much less entertaining.

I'm worried about prom. The whole limo thing kind of intimidates me... but here's to hoping it doesn't suck.

ACTing Stupid and This is not a book

Wanna hear about my ACT? I didn't think so. But Here are three tips for you if you haven't taken it.
1. Watch the clock, especially on math.
2. On the math section do the easiest questions you can find and then do the hard ones.
3. Skim the passages on Reading then do the questions
4. Only look at the graphs and the first lines of the science passages
5. Answer every question.

And try not to get stuck in the same room as a moderately obnoxious blonde guy who is contantly adjusting himself and you know what I mean by that.

Also I got this book called This Is Not A Book and I kind of want to daily blog about my adventures with said book. to force myself into a topic. Anyway...
thanks for reading!