Pep Rally Rant

Hello! I'm Robert Naylor and I am currently fairly pissed off.


You see, I just moved to a new town in the middle of my high school career, and while being a friendless 16 year old is cause enough to be pissed off today I was forced to go to the schools pep rally.


Now some people may not consider this a problem but it is a huge problem. Mandatory Pep Rallies suck more than normal pep rallies. Now I enjoy screaming about football as much as the next person who... has absolutely no interest in sports, but please forcing everyone to come to their little cult meetings?


First an insider account of the pep rally. AAAAAH GOOO HHS! BLAAAAAAARGGGGGGH! they scream excitedly about the begining of the Pep Rally. First the Cheerleaders come out in their mini skirts that would warrant stoning in Afghanistan and begin to teach us how to spell "Commando" Slowly with exuberant pumping of the fist. This proves me wrong. Pep Rallies do have educational value, I feel an intellectual thrill as they spell out words using their barely covered bodies. We watch each and every one of the 21 cherleaders flip across the floor. Then we watch every football player walk across the floor. Next it's the golden girls who bounce their breast around to a beat while grabbing their butts. They are the male dogs in heat and the air is the large stuffed animal. The air is raped by the large chested females. How artistic. More cheering. We turn around and yell some more. At least most of us do some of us sit on the back row. I envy them but being of no friends I am unable to do such things. I am stuck in the very front being tossed around by football players and spirit nazis. The Alma Matter is sung. I finally know the true purpose of the mandatory attendence when the principle walks up.

"We have the most spirited students in the county!!!!!"

That's right she drags every student in the school into the pep rally so she can have her delusional bragging rights.

So here is my issue with the mandatory pep rallies. Besides the delusional basis for their existence, no one likes having them mandatory. The spirited ones don't want "The Bad Kids" to come because it makes them lose their screaming contests. The people who have better things to do like get an education, don't want to be dragged into their, and my idea of hell. Secondly, the purpose of school is to get an education however the school I currently attend blows all it's money on football and pep rallies and prom. However, our teachers have no money to spend. Compared to my old school it's like going back in time as far as technology goes. Also, does the principle force the entire school to attend things devoted to the arts program? No. They barely require class attendance. If you are caught in the hallway you are just asked to return to class.
Sorry to use the internet as a bitch box but I just feel the need to say this. My life has been made miserable and I have no one to talk to about it. I plan to blog most everyday. So if you found this blog I thank you for reading it.
Thanks,
Robert