I am completely BSing this entire thins

Let's make one thing clear, I have the same amount qualification to talk about love that a seven year old Kenyan AIDS orphan has when they talk about... enjoyment of life. You know those Kenyans so fast that they win every race, except you know the human race because they're all poor and diseased. And will probably die screaming for God to have mercy on their starving souls.

That was altogether inappropriate. I am deeply, deeply sorry. But today I don't feel like using euphemisms. Honestly, sometimes you just want to say "she was wasted and this guy boinked her" instead of "he took advantage of her".

But anyway today's topic... Teenage Romance.
Ta ta oh ma God
Ben din Ti ne ski irts
Gi Na is in vew ew ew
Boner in my pants!

Todays topic is a little more serious or should I say Thuriouth Thurthday. (Please note I know absolutely nothing about these topics)
Commonly asked questions about teenage romance.

Do teenagers experience love or is it just lust?
This really depends on the person. But let me tell you a large number of teenage relationships start on a lustful impulse. All high school relationships begin with the guy getting a boner and then acting on that boner. He may go about this in the appropriate way and ask her out and spend time with her and eventually fall in love with her. If the guy however goes out with one of those skankanistas in the pom squad then he is just lusting. When a guy just bones the girl a couple of times, it's lust. If the guy goes on a few dates with the girl it is lust until proven love.
Girls typically begin relationships from a combination of a crush and a lust. And it develops from there.

Robert on the other hand begins relationships by crying and hiding in the corner of his room. Because he does not begin relationships. He ends them by looking at the face of the person he likes and seeing a no.

I have been dating this guy/girl for a long time when are we ready to have sex?
First of all I think you should wait until you are sure of their gender, if you don't know that you might be in for a problem when you start the sex. Next you should talk about it. If you feel like you're ready you should discuss it and use protection. USE PROTECTION. Honestly. Don't listen to the Catholic church. Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers. Just have enjoyable sex. It's not the most important thing in the world it's part of being a human. But it is dangerous and you should consider the risks and how ready you are to take those risks.

I feel attracted to someone and I think they like me? What do I do?
Walk up to the person you like and talk to them about something you have in common. If you don't know the person well enough to know what you have in common, then they don't like you back. At least not yet. Just find some reason to talk to the person other than love. When the person knows you exist everything is much easier .

Where is a good first ate location?
Go to a zoo or an aquarium. Anywhere but the movies. The movies ruins your ability to bond. Go bowling for all I care, just go somewhere where you can talk.

Our relationship is going sour. How can I break up with them and be a complete asshole about it?
10. Txt message them
9. Never talk to them again. Go start dating someone else. Gather all pictures of them and their possessions. Set them inside a box with dog poop and set it on fire on their doorstep.
8. Leave a trail of roses outside their house have them lead to a big poster board that says "I'm breaking up with you"
7. Tell them to get a tattoo of you, then when they are getting the tattoo tell the artist to write "(your name) just broke up with me permanently"
6. Kill their dog and carve the words " Let's stay friends" into the corpse.
5. Go to a sports game and tell them to put it up on the big board "Katherine will you break up with me?"
4. Go up in a hot air balloon and break up in the sky
3. 6 but with their grandmother
2. Wake them up and serenade/break up with them.
1. Kneel down and pull out a ring box. Inside place a small note that says "I'm breaking up with you."