All the Single Roberts...

The next three days I will be talking about Valentines related things, or as I prefer to call it, Singles Awareness Day
Twelve Perks of being single of Valentines day (or anytime)*sarcasm alert*
1. You never have to talk on the phone for seven hours trying to sound like you are not bored. Honestly I don't want to discuss plans for a relationship when I could be on Facebook desperately trying to find a friend.
2. You don't have to worry about buying the person presents. You can spend the money on self help books like Everyone Has Someone.
3. You can gaze at anyone's beauty you want to, then you can fail to have the enthusiasm to give yourself the joy of a fantasy.
4. You can hang out with your friends if you want to! You can all talk about how awesome it is to be together as friends and not as a healthy romantic couple.
5. You can listen to songs like "Imperfect is the New Perfect" or "Soar" and not feel like a loser, because those songs were probably legit written about you. You can sing along about how you are unappreciated and beautiful.
6. You can focus on school activities. You can have a 4.0 while all those people in relationships are... enjoying their lives! Screw them, you will succeed.
7. You can totally find your own reason to be happy, instead of relying on a person to bring you happiness. You can take up a hobby like singing (about how lonely you are), dancing (on a pole hoping someone will slip some cash into your underwear so you can feel appreciated), writing (depressing poetry) and drawing (tears on your face, in your leg blood).
8. You don't have to worry about STDs or Pregnancy or kissing or having a moment of pure bliss.
9. You don't have to go see crappy romantic comedies with someone. You can watch them alone.
10. You don't have gain weight by eating all those cheap chocolates. You can not eat anything and work out in hopes that you will be skinny enough to be loved.
11. You can worry if another person feels for you and have your heart crushed. And you can make those little sweet hearts candies. And give them all to yourself!
12. You can put your hands up when someone says ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP.