Fishes

I'm sort of pressed for time today because of a short story I had to retype up quickly. It's a depressing story about a fish for AP English. So I think I will share it. We had to use vocab words so I will define them. If you don't like glorified emo poetry do not read this story.
Snow Day

Ordinarily getting out of school for snow would be exciting (not in the sexual sense). Except when you happen to be a fish and the frozen water reaches it's clawed (this is figurative language water has no claws) into the middle of your school and sends you off alone into the middle of the lake. The idyllic (unrealistically perfect) world above the thin slashing tendrils (squiggles) of ice meant nothing to me as I tired to navigate to somewhere, anywhere where I could swim without fearing for my life. Where there was a crack in the ice (Meaning a break in the glass, not like White China ore whatever kids call it these days), there was the bill of an egregious (Evil, like fecking Cruela De Ville) crane waiting to taste the flesh of a fish foolish (stupid) enough to swim alone.

Once I saw the flicker of a fin in the distance and swam forward, only to find the water wrestling (a sport involving muscles and man panties) the thickness of blood and a fin clamped in the bill of a crane. The humans have an abstruse ( difficult to understand) definition of the phases after one discovers they will die. For fish there is one. Certainty. Not a hint of ambivalence (uncertainty) snaked through my veins (those bulgy blue things) as I touched my lips to the mother snapping turtle.

My last moment ended in a snap and a burst of joy (figuratively). A joy that steamed from the knowledge that the last thing I touched was skin (Sounds like a Murdrape victim). That my life ended to preserve (llamas are cool) another's, rather ( I kind of like puppies. The most. Ever.) than a hopeless thrashing through the jaws of death, to live for seconds (I'm allergic to eggs) more.

YAY DEAD FISHIES

Also I am getting a second fish. I really want a name that goes with Charleston. I am going to give a couple of options and you guys can help me choose.

Fish names:

1. Wallow. This kind of goes with Charleston because The Charleston was the dance of the twenties and wallowing in despair was the dance of the thirties.

2. Raquandelle. Because it seems like a good name.

3.Sumter. This is a duh sort of thing here.

4. Shugg. Making fun of Charleston.

Some nonrelated names

5. Rupert. After Giles.

6. CAAARL! From Llamas with Hats. If you don't know what this is go watch it now.

7. You come up with one!

I am going to assume that you are going to read this and comment upon it with a funny name.
Thanks for reading and commenting!