Hello! It's time for the Excuse edition of Forever Roqn!
As you can see I am trying to express more enthusiasm in my blog. Yesterday's was very ranty, but I do best humor wise when I rant, so I don't know. I can assure you that this blog will be a little more light hearted.
I have A bit of an issue, with my new school obsession with spirit comes the discussion of football games and required attendance. Today I used up my "I felt sick, but I wish I could have been there" excuse. So I need plenty more to last me through the rest of high school. So I thought I would make a blog of it.
So here it is
TWENTY FOOLPROOF EXCUSES
1. I have this ridiculous project that I blew off till the last minute
2. I'm grounded.
3. My hamster unfortunately died and I can't stand cheering when something so close to my heart has departed. I... (Begin Bawling)
4. My washer and dryer aren't working and I don't have any clean pairs of pants that I can wear. The ones I'm currently wearing are a little too tight around the lower regions. You know?
5. I have unfortunately forgotten how to clap and you know how embarrassing it is to not be able to clap at a place of such excitement.
6. My watch broke and there are no clocks in my house So I won't know what time it is much less what day it is ( all credit to BTVS)
7. I have a hot date and you know we don't want all our SUPER SEXY MAKEY OUTEY time to distract the players and cause a loss. We are going to go to my house.
8. My housekeeper is being deported and she has my socks, I need to get them before she goes back to Mexico.
9. My mother's cancer operation will cost a lot of money so I have to sell marijuana and sexual favors to pay so she can live.
10. OH GOD! I FEEL SOME DIARRHEA COMING ON!!! GOT TO GOOOO!!!!!
11. Oh I want to go but the fates have informed me that I will not want to go come the time.
12. My sister is in labor. We have squeeze the booger out I'll see if I can swing by.
13. Wait, I thought that was... Oh I scheduled my doctors appointment for tonight...
14. Well it's kind of embarrassing but I am medically required to get a butt wax tonight. It is infringing on my ability to make bow- (Usually they will ask you to stop)
15. Sorry, I can't pay for a ticket. I spent my money on food because my family will starve without it.
16. In Writing "I am taking a vow of silence to save Africans from AIDS, I would be tempted to break my vow out of excitement"
17. Football- A sport invented in America the American pastime. Dallas Cowboys Famous for cheerleaders. Cheerleading is a sport according to (Continue in bing fashion).
18. Oh Damn I would go but Mom says I have to pray for 7 hours until my Hot Topic shopping is healed by Jesus our Lord and Savior
19. One of the cheerleaders has a restraining order because I called her a Ho.
20. My Russian mail order bride arrives tonight. Soon we will be wed at last!
Okay so maybe not all of those would work but it's a start. If you have any other ideas leave a comment.
Thanks,
Robert
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hey, I found you through Hayley's blog. Sometimes I randomly click on the commenters' names and check out new blogs. I hope that doesn't make me too much of a creeper. I wanted to read yours because you said that you love TV, and I wanted to say that I do, too. I also love BtVS, Angel, Arrested Development, Bones, Dexter, Docter Who, Firefly, House, Monk, Pushing Daisies, and Sex and the City. There are different ones I have in addition to those, but I just thought I'd name the ones we have in common. Anyway, I'm commenting because it sounds like you need a friend. I just started college at a place where I don't know any people at all, so I get that feeling (plus I moved around a lot before). I think these excuses are funny. I barely attended sports games in high school, but I hung out with people who similarly weren't too into sports, so my lack of attendance wasn't frowned upon. I think some of these will definitely work. You can say afterwards that you simply forgot, or that you were taking a nap and overslept. Those two are pretty ordinary, though, at least compared to some of your other ones. lol. Anyway, I hope you make some friends soon, then you can all make fun of the pep rallies together. :)
ReplyDelete